Breezeblocks

Since yesterday I have been in a very intense and terrible slump and I don’t know how to get out of it. I am in a state of constant panic now where I’m always shaking and the desperation is really starting to win over. I don’t want to harm myself, I know better than that and I made great progress at not needing to, but I am starting to feel like I’ve run out of options.I have no distractions. I feel wholly alone. It would make no difference on anyone’s life if I were here or not. People can get by just fine without me. I am nothing but a nuisance, here to wreck pain on those I love. I feel so small.

It feels like there’s no point anymore. I check my sugar (mostly) when I should, I eat 2-3 meals a day, try to get some exercise in every week, but for what? I’m not actively working towards anything or trying to change for anyone, and I feel like I’ve lost my life’s purpose. I have no purpose.

I just want the pain to end.

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