Heart of a Lion

I’ve succumbed to the dark world of Reddit-and I love it. I was always repelled from using the site due to its completely user-unfriendly desktop site, but a friend recently recommended the app BaconReader and I can’t put it down now.

Today, I decided to visit /r/diabetes_t1, so make this another chronicle in the series of trying to come to terms with my disease. I think that’s my mission for my last year of high school: Accept (or at least come close) my diabetes and learn to be okay with being alone. So far, I’ve provided advice to someone with questions about Sensors and also helped someone who was having trouble explaining what being low/high feels like.

It feels good, I feel like I’m doing something right. The past few days, as I’ve struggled to come out of the pool of Missing Ex-Boyfriend that I’ve been drowning in, I keep telling myself (because of trusty advice from Pelican) that my best chance at winning him over again is to prove that I am a better person. I try to be a good person, and I fail often, but I don’t stop trying. I’m studying for the ACT, I’m playing video games into the early morning, I’m getting exercise, I’m reading, I’m keeping up with the 2016 Election, I’m editing videos, I’m doing college applications. I want to prove to Ex-Boyfriend that I am worthy of his trust, and I went through a really rough patch, but I am trying my hardest to do better and be a better person.

I’m often lonely, but I also keep telling myself that I shouldn’t rely on other people in order to be content with myself. I think the hardest part of all of this is trying to convince myself that despite everything I did, I’m still a somewhat decent person.

Wish me luck.

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