Doe eyed star gazer
You entered my life when I needed you most;
your blanket of comfort became my home,
your voice became my favorite sound,
your dirty hazel eyes became all I needed.
To you I said “Here,
Have a piece of my soul,
I know you’ll take good care of it,”
And you never let me down nor proved me wrong.
Now, I sit at your house with your mother and grand mother
Trading stories about your unreturned phone calls
And your latest school project.
With them I find comfort knowing I’m not the only one missing you
Like an amputee misses their lost limb.
There are times when I let myself slip,
When I think of you more than I want to
When the memory of you threatens to break me
When I lay on the couch in your living room
and it feels so normal, it’s almost home;
But it’s not home if you’re not here.
To my shepherd boy on his nineteenth birthday,
You saw me not for who I was, but for who I could be.
You taught me compassion when all I knew was pain.
You showed me that maybe,
I deserve more than I’ve allowed myself to receive.
In my thoughts of you, I always remind myself:
“How lucky I am to have something
that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
I will wait as long as it takes if it means I’ll never have to say goodbye again.