From now on, I am going to try to empty my feelings at least once a week. I really enjoy being able to look back at old posts and see how far I’ve come, and I want to do it more often.
This past week was very good to me. I finally actually got my septum pierced on Tuesday, we finished a good show on Thursday, we’ll be covering a gay pride festival tomorrow. I said my goodbyes to my favorite person, and I feel very at peace. I got a lot off of my chest, and I really am okay.
I need to get back on track with my sugars. I’m scared I’m slipping back into a burnout, but I don’t know how to pull myself out of it. I’ve been having a lot of complications with my insurance and trying to get a new sensor, and that’s really put a damper on my want to take care of myself.
We’re in full-on competition mode now, which makes me both anxious and excited. I am preparing myself to leave everything I have on the table, but the stakes are high and I don’t want to pull an Icarus and fly too close to the sun. Planning the trip is even more stressful than I anticipated (which says a lot), but it also makes me feel incredibly productive and empowered.
I’ve been reading more lately which makes me really, really happy. I can’t believe I forgot the joy and tranquility that books provide.
I have two more college interviews coming up, but after my first one, I’m not that scared anymore.
I graduate in five months. I know I should be excited, and I am, but more than anything I’m scared. I’ve dreamt of graduating and going to college since I was 11, but now that it’s coming so quickly, I don’t know if I’m ready. Then again, will I ever really be ready? I want to be on my own, a free human being with an independent will, but there is SO much I have to worry about that I don’t know I’ll be able to handle it all. Only time will tell.
I’m happy in a way I haven’t been for a while. It’s a calm, quiet happy now. I’m going to make sure it lasts.