I think I’ve finally figured out the pattern. The people who I am attracted to and who, for the most part, are attracted to me (but to whom I don’t return their feelings) are people whom I am afraid of in one way or another.
It can be something as simple as I am wrecked by anxiety due to their touchiness. Or it can be something as deep and complex as my repeated “No’s” being completely disregarded and having that person do as they like with my body and not being able to find the voice to call for help. In one way or another, I am scared of that person and it is because I am scared of them that I cling to them so tightly and I find it so close to impossible to let them go.
I guess my “perfect person” is going to be the person who I am not scared of. I don’t want to be scared of the person I am in love with.
Chronicles of a Lost Girl 